Show Don't Tell

The land was beautiful, but harsh. The town was safe from the elements, but outside could be dangerous if one did not take precautions.

The land behind our wall was supposed to be wild. We knew there was a forest but the creatures that lived within were supposed to be dangerous. ‘The wizard’ was born and bread there. When I was a child I had sneaked out from a hole underneath the wall and had gone into the forest, apparently I had almost been lost. The wall was our safety but some, like me, thought it was a cage that kept us in. Only a few had made it out and even fewer had come back in. One of the people who had made it back, was my father.

Show Don't Tell

The hero was strong and handsome. He was admired by the townspeople. He was brave and wished to help those in need.

I looked at our hero, with his curly dark chocolate hair and for the first time I was struck by his handsomeness. He had rippling biceps and was very tall. When he picked up heavy objects his muscles moved. Many of my family and friends admired him. He was always trying to do the best for us as he knew we were just poor townspeople, I guess you could say that he wished to help those in need. Many times he defeated huge drooling monsters set upon us by the evil dictator wizard. He was a very brave young man, sent to us by the gods. No one knows his name or where he came from. One night he just appeared at our town’s gate wearing torn and bloody clothing. In turn for food and shelter he promised to help defend the town, going as far as to trying and kill the evil wizard. From then on he has helped small and tall alike. From old ladies to young children.

“Need any help?” He asked in his deep voice. I was startled and choked out a reply

“ No thank-you”. I looked up and for the first time I realised his eyes were emerald. They glittered as if filled with water. I wondered why this was so. I waved as he walked away.